And at that moment I realized, no, I was never the free spirit I always thought I was. Who the hell am I kidding. I am merely a bird, flying from one cage to another. 


We were at a party
Avoiding each other’s gaze
The sea of people that smelled 
       of smoke and stale beer
       a well-received barrier
       from all
You had a beer to your lips 
While I
Had a million apologies
Burning at the back of my throat. 

out of my stubbornness and aloofness
I may never know
anything but your name 
and you may know
nothing but my smile and shuffling gait

but thank you 
for being the face
to all the
irreverent godless fantasies
inside my sick, sick head.